Who Killed Print?

We all know print is dead/dying/coughing up blood. But until recently I never knew who to blame. Then I discovered the ugly, shocking truth which I will now share with you all. Print didn’t just die. It was killed… by cats. Yes, cats. Frigging cats! Don’t believe me? See for yourself.

Who killed print?…

IMG_0017

Let’s take a closer look at this dirty deed.

IMG

Save it for the litterbox, lady.

cateditor

Um, no, since you’re pointing to a mouse, not a word. In fact, you’re illiterate. You’re a cat!

catdesigner

Not as scary as a giant black and white polka dot tie with a red striped shirt. This is your designer?

IMG_0005

That copyeditor looks like he needs some catnip or he’s gonna start shredding the manuscript. Give the poor guy some yarn at least!

IMG_0006

Actually the copyeditor (copycat?) really said, “Here’s another !@#$%! mistake!”

IMG_0007

Of course, the printer was in China so the production director should have said “良好的厚纸!”

IMG_0008

Seriously, an ascot? Since when did Charles Nelson Reilly do prepress?

IMG_0009

OK, fair enough.

IMG_0010

I think the prepress cat is going to kick some tail when he hears this crap.

IMG_0011

Why are these cats so relaxed when the book is totally screwed up? Can’t they see the deadline right behind them? Sure enough…

IMG_0012

Sigh. This is not going to end well.

IMG_0013

Assuming there is a next job.

IMG_0014

I think a few whiskers ended up in the F&Gs.

IMG_0015

Uh, yeah. But instead of going out and selling the book, the cats started a website filled with photos of themselves with silly misspelled captions. And they all got rich and never made another book again.

IMG_0016

And then little kitten fell asleep, wishing for an iPhone.

The end.

PS If you want to know where these images came from, check out Who Killed Print, Part 2.

Advertisements

One Tweet Over the Line

Or maybe two.

I resisted Twitter for a while because I suspected it would amount to enforced ADD and suck up large chunks of my time like a cosmic wet/dry vac. Eventually, I tried it and…I was right. Still, I love Twitter. It has enormous value (and potential for more), and it seems to be where the action is. So I have imposed a modicum of self-discipline and made a Twitter schedule for myself, and only check it a couple times a day. I suppose this defeats some of the purpose, but it suits me. If you are either the Master of Multitasking, or have the ability to tune out a constant data stream, you might find value in TwiterFox, which runs Tweets in a side panel of your Firefox window.

My problem is, I am interested in every tip and trick out there. How to paint photo-realistic onion rings? Cool. Ink jets that print on banana peels? Gotta see those. A set of “salad bar sneeze” brushes for Photoshop? Never know when I might need those.

Of course there are much more practical tips and tutorials, free for the following on Twitter.

My favorite new “follows” this week:

Layers Magazine (How-to make everything with Adobe tools)

NAPP News (National Association of Photoshop Pros).

Kodak Digital Print (Kodak’s Graphic Communication Group)

All are very active and offer lots of quality links.