Who Killed Print, Part 2

For those wondering where I got the “evidence” against cats, I looked no further than the bookshelf in my kids’ playroom.

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This book was published in 1986, which may explain some of the “fashionable” feline attire, and other details like phones with cords on them.

It got me to thinking, what would a sequel to this book look like? So here’s my take on..

How An E-Book is Made

I’m the design and production cat. I’m creating the template in InDesign and exporting the stories to InCopy.

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I’m the author. I’m writing the content directly in InCopy. I can see the fit and layout.

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I’m adding graphics, hyperlinks, and other interactive elements, plus running spellcheck and other QA.

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I’m tracking changes.

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I’m proofing.

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I’m outputting to PDF.

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I’m creating the book’s website.

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I’m publicizing the book on Twitter and Facebook.

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I’m desperate for Google Juice.

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I got listed on Amazon!

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Oprah likes my book!

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Now maybe I can replace this computer from 1986.

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LOL! I’m so glad print is dead.

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Who Killed Print?

We all know print is dead/dying/coughing up blood. But until recently I never knew who to blame. Then I discovered the ugly, shocking truth which I will now share with you all. Print didn’t just die. It was killed… by cats. Yes, cats. Frigging cats! Don’t believe me? See for yourself.

Who killed print?…

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Let’s take a closer look at this dirty deed.

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Save it for the litterbox, lady.

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Um, no, since you’re pointing to a mouse, not a word. In fact, you’re illiterate. You’re a cat!

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Not as scary as a giant black and white polka dot tie with a red striped shirt. This is your designer?

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That copyeditor looks like he needs some catnip or he’s gonna start shredding the manuscript. Give the poor guy some yarn at least!

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Actually the copyeditor (copycat?) really said, “Here’s another !@#$%! mistake!”

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Of course, the printer was in China so the production director should have said “良好的厚纸!”

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Seriously, an ascot? Since when did Charles Nelson Reilly do prepress?

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OK, fair enough.

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I think the prepress cat is going to kick some tail when he hears this crap.

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Why are these cats so relaxed when the book is totally screwed up? Can’t they see the deadline right behind them? Sure enough…

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Sigh. This is not going to end well.

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Assuming there is a next job.

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I think a few whiskers ended up in the F&Gs.

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Uh, yeah. But instead of going out and selling the book, the cats started a website filled with photos of themselves with silly misspelled captions. And they all got rich and never made another book again.

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And then little kitten fell asleep, wishing for an iPhone.

The end.

PS If you want to know where these images came from, check out Who Killed Print, Part 2.

Lunchtime Links

Macworld has an article on Twitter for Mac Creatives. I found the comments interesting too. There’s definitely a line in the sand between those who “get” Twitter and those who don’t. As with anything, YMMV, but I think those who complain about the lousy signal-to-noise ratio just aren’t following the right people. Sure, there’s a lot of “I like bacon” tweets. But there’s a ton of good stuff too. Don’t throw the baby out with the TweetWater.

Following up on Eric’s Why XML? post, here’s a link to the slides from O’Reilly’s Start With XML one-day conference that was held in NYC on January 13th.

Speaking of O’Reilly, the annual Tools of Change conference is coming up: Feb 9-11, also in NYC. MarkLogic, Adobe, <oXygen/> and Cory Doctorow of BoingBoing. I’ll take it, with an everything bagel, to go. Of course, if you can’t make it, you can follow the conference on Twitter. SeewhatImean?

While you’re at it, you can follow me. I promise not to tweet about bacon. I don’t even eat the stuff.

MarkLogic announced the MarkLogic Toolkit for Word, which is a free open source means for developers to build applications directly bridging Microsoft Office Word 2007 and MarkLogic. Makes you go <hmmm/>.

Last but not least, GeoEye has some photos of yesterday’s inauguration, taken by Google’s new satellite. See how SkyNet, er, Google views 1.something million people: as a bunch of ants. That reminds me, I should put Judgment Day in my iCal. Thanks for the tip goes to John Nack at Adobe, whose Photoshop blog is required reading for everyone in my household, even the cats (how do you think they put those lightsabers in their paws?). Actually, they use FriskiesPix.

Cross-Promotional Log Rolling, Vol. 2

In this week’s episode of “The Content Re-cycler,” Mike points y’all to some lovely stuff on CreativePro.com:  a re-“print” of his InDesign Magazine article on 5 Type Tips. Suh-weet. If you’re not a subscriber to InDesign Magazine (makes a great gift—just sayin’), this will be new to you. It’s never appeared here or on InDesignSecrets.com. Indeed, Mike is très excited to have his content on CreativePro.com. So much so, that he’s been writing in the third person ever since he found out—quite beside himself, actually.

In the spirit of the holidaze, I dusted off my long-neglected, random-thought blog, Brainpile, and posted my Top Ten Christmas CDs there.

Oh yeah, and just to top it off, here’s the purrfect chaser: a fresh CWL (cat with lightsaber). Captions anyone?

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Cool, Kuler, Coolest Color

The colors of spring are starting to pop where I live. The forsythia are spewing pure 100y by the driveway. The birch are popping a crazy out-of-gamut green, something like L74a(65)b65, The magnolias are blooming default [paper] on Comm Ave. and even my grass is a greener shade of brown. So what better time than to play with the swatches palette in InDesign, and see how we can fill it up with cool colors.

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Photoshop For Cats

What started out as a joke in another post becomes a post in itself. C’est la blog.

Here’s my writing routine: Around 9 PM I head downstairs and settle in on the couch in the family room with my laptop. Shortly thereafter I am joined by two 11-week-old Siamese furballs named Sasha and Storm who make themselves at home on my lap and/or laptop like this.

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